Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
