I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
Randomize
