I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
