did you get engaged???
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
