Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
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