Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
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