When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
where are you?
Hypothermia
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Randomize
