guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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