Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
