I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But theres a keg here and me gusta
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize