I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize