Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
