is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize