ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
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