I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Randomize
