yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
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