There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
