I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize