my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize