Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
