so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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