Kiss
Puke
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Randomize
