dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Randomize
