please come you make the beer taste better
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
You've changed since you got that strap on
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Randomize
