It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
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