:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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