Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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