Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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