You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
