this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
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