A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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