I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
People with herpes should wear stickers.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
