dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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