When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
You need Xanax blowdarts
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
