Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
