if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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