oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
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