New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
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