So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
i drank out of a bidet.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
