So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Randomize
