Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
