well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize