i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Randomize
