Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
