You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
