HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
