I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
