I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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