Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
