Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize
