New invention idea: vibrating tampons
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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