I want to have your abortion
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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