turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
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