oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Randomize