I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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