Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
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