Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Randomize
