Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
