Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize