the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Life is so much better after having sex.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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