our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
