new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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